Things have gotten so bizarre lately (Long post warning)

[WyWy]

I’m really glad I found this website, hopefully I can get some answers 😀

I guess I am going to go ahead and give you my background and what is currently going on.

-I suffered from HYPERthyroidism (specifically graves disease) for an unknown time and it was recently found this past January and I was told I had 85.5% uptake of thyroid (the norm range is 12-23% according to the Doc). My internal medicine doctor referred me to an endocrinologist and they both suggested that I do an Iodine 131 treatment to kill part of my thyroid, making me eventually become HYPOthyroid. So, I obviously agreed to this procedure because I wanted to stop the panic attacks that I was having from the HYPERthyroidism (I am putting the HYPER and HYPO in all caps so you won’t get confused so don’t think I’m too crazy ). After about a month of the Iodine 131 treatment, I started to notice a small change – I was unable to have a bowel movement and I didn’t urinate as often as I use to. I consulted my doctor about this issue and he put me on 50MCG of levothyroxine which is the generic version of synthroid and the symptoms started to clear up – nature started to call on a regular basis. Then about a month later I started going out and drinking – which is normal for me. I would drink until intoxication with my friends and not really “blackout” per-say but I would not remember certain parts of the night. The morning after I would call all my friends that I drank with and start to ask them if I didn’t something “wrong.” For example, I would have irrational thoughts if I hurt somebody physically or mentally, which is something that I would never think of doing. They would all tell me that I was fine and that it was a fun night. After about of month of these incidents (we are into the month of April now) they all started to get irritated by this (I could just tell by their body language) so I stopped asking them, but in doing so I would drive myself crazy and I literally tried to remember every minute of the night before. These incidents progressed and got worse so I limited the amount I drank/limited the number of nights that I drank. This seemed to be a great solution and so I stuck with it for about a month or so until I decided to get intoxicated after finding out I got accepted into the college I applied for (to celebrate we should say). The next morning I just woke up and questioned what I did that night – making sure I didn’t harm anybody, get harmed, etc. It was almost like a different level of irrational thinking because in this case I could almost convenience myself of anything. For example, did I kill somebody? Did I steal a car? Did I send someone a mean/nasty text message, etc etc. So I thought to myself, enough is enough. I am going to stop drinking because this is driving me crazy. I will go crazy if I keep on drinking. So I stopped drinking any kind of alcohol for a two week period just to see how I feel and if I feel better than I just know it was the alcohol and nothing other than that. In that two week period I still had the most irrational thoughts. At first, I convinced myself that I got arrested that night and literally looked up my local paper that night and checked for anybody that got arrested/booked the night I drank. I checked and of course I did not get arrested but I still felt that I did. Time went and after about a whole month the thoughts of being arrested finally went away and I was able to have a goodnights rest. So, I started to casually drink again and everything went well because I thought a lot of the thoughts was just due to the alcohol so it was easier to control them. Then, in June my whole cognitive thinking started to decrease. I started becoming what I felt as being socially awkward which I have NEVER felt before because I was (I still want to believe that I am) the most talkative/outgoing/easy-to-get along with guy there is and can easily carry on a conversation. But things just started to decrease and I didn’t know what was going on. When there was any kind of awkward silence in a conversation I was having I would force myself to say something but in doing so, question myself if that was the “right” thing to say. To keep things short, over time I felt like I was getting dumber and dumber. I searched everything on the internet and nothing seemed to help. I wasn’t able to explain to my parents that I was getting dumb and felt socially awkward because I just at the time did not know how to explain it. Then, this past August hit and things went for the worst. I was about to start my third year of college but my first year being at this new school and I just started feeling completely lost. I am very familiar with the campus but it literally felt like I had no idea where I was – almost like I was in a foreign country and just couldn’t find my way around. I would ask people for directions to this and that when I was on campus for orientation but it was like they were speaking spanish to me. Seriously, the most simple directions I could not follow at all, “turn left and then go right, you will see the building” was such a hard concept for me. I felt like maybe it was because I was so anxious of staring a new school and I was afraid of failure. So, I met up with my doctor and he put me on 100MGC of levothyroxine (50 in the morning and 50 in the afternoon). I would say about three days passed and I woke up one morning paralyzed for about 15 minutes in both my arms. I don’t really think it was sleep paralysis because I was able to move my feet and head, and I just started freaking out. The day went on and I still had brain fog, something I was became accustomed to because I had felt it for a whole month (there was literally a moment that did not go by that I felt “with it” – like my old self). So, I went on with my day as best I could and again, the simplest things became the biggest struggle. There was an incident that day where I had to go get my parking pass and I literally wanted to kill myself (I hate saying this but I want to be open with you guys so I can maybe find some comfort/cure) because I had to get a parking pass. It was such a bizarre feeling – I started getting more depressed minute by minute that I just went to bed early instead of going out with my roommates (something that is highly unusual for me) and woke up at 3 in the morning and wanted to kill myself. So, I decided to be open with the whole situation with my roommates and decided to call my Dad right then and there to come pick me up from my apartment at three in the morning. I went home (knowing I had class the next day) and just lost it. I had episodes where I became depressed and had the most irrational thoughts in the world. I thought that I killed our family dog, I killed someone, etc. It got so bad that I literally had to count every second when I had what I called a “episode” to make sure that I was being safe. My parents tell me that they do not see a personality change besides the fact they do notice I am depressed so that was comforting because I thought I was being mean to people for some odd reason. It got to point where I just came up to my Dad and told him that if he wasn’t going to drive me to the mental hospital, I would drive myself. He did so, and within 1 hour I was an admitted patient at our local hospitals behavioral unit. I could’ve never pictured myself going to a mental hospital or even the slightest thought of suicide – but something needed to be fixed. I spent about 8 days in the hospital and things seemed to go fine. They put me on 10 MG of Lexapro, 5 MG of Ativan, and even changed my thyroid medication to brand name Synthroid. This was close to three weeks ago and the depression has seemed to be not as frequent as it is, but it is still there. Now, I just have severe memory loss, lack of concentration, and just feeling lost – its almost like my brain is not working up to par. I have a meeting with my Doctor tomorrow and we are going to get my TSH/T4/and T3 levels checked, I am hoping for the best. This brain fog thing is just killing me on the inside Its at the point where I have to check my computer history to make sure I didn’t do anything stupid and I only use my cell phone (to both make calls and text) in public to make sure I am not calling anybody and saying anything that I would regret.

In short, I’m lost and I feel like I am not the same person that I was in March. It’s driving me crazy. There is a lot of “brain fog” and I just feel like I am not the same person. Today, I hard a hard time reading things and I am about to go back in school in January to continue my education but I feel like I can’t even do that with all the anxiety that I have going on. There is so much that the thyroid can do, but I swear that there is a lot of things that are hormonal.

UPDATE: 10-10-09 – I’ve posted this on other forums (sorry for not typing it again – its not that I’m lazy its just because it’s the same story) but I have been put on Armour thyroid and they are going to check my cortisol levels to make sure that I don’t have “adrenal” fatigue. Someone has recommended “IsoCort” and I am going to start trying that, and I have been graphing my temperatures. Everything just seems like a blur and I can’t remember things, I have memory loss out the ying-yang. Hopefully I will be cured soon. I believe in God and I know that he has a plan.

I really thank you for reading this, I know this took a lot of your time and I gladly appreciate your response. For any of you going through this, I feel your pain and suffering. This is truly without a doubt the hardest thing I have ever done. Words can’t describe how I feel so I hope I did my best for you guys in this post.

PS-I forgot to mention that I am a 21 year old male (not sure if this will help any of you guys solving my issues)

God Bless,

Wyatt

[pmgamer18]

Hi Wyatt and welcome,

I have lost count as to how many times I have read a story like yours and it looks like you have been to some of the better thyroid forums. Yes do check your cortisol levels I tell people to do a morning fasting blood test it this test is 15 or lower do a 4x’s in a day Saliva Test to see what there rhythm looks like.

Going on Armour and checking your Temps helps but I need to tell you if your Adreanls are over worked and you don’t make enough cortisol going up on the Armour will make you sick. You need Cortisol to carry the Thyroid hormone out of your blood into your cells so as you go up on the dose it can build up in your blood and make you feel sick like chest pain and feeling hyper.

I am a mod at the RTH forum “For Men Only”.
http://forums.realthyroidhelp.com/viewforum.php?f=5
I have a sticky on how I got started treating my Adrenals and Thyroid.
In this link is a lot of info but it’s sad that the new Armour out there is not working for most people and it’s hard to get. Still read this link and see if it helps you.
http://forums.realthyroidhelp.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=24

In the following is FAQ’s I helped do when I was a mod at STTM forum this is full of info and a lot about Adrenals things like how to start on Isocort and so on.
http://forums.realthyroidhelp.com/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=256

Just open the link on taking your Temps and print out the chart to keep track of your temps avg. This works and helps you to get on the right dose of Armour once you have your Adrenals supported.

I pray this helps you and you get better it dose take time it took me a yr. Just stop drinking and when you feel off just tell your self this is distressing but not dangerous.

[hardasnails1973]

i had a patient that had graves disease and we worked in tandem with an endo to give him the best chances of recovery. He did have to use iodine radioactive but did use tapozol to help slow his thyroid down. His TSH was really low and had hemochromatosis. What came first we do not know, but the endo was on board with adrenals but in this case going after the thyroid was priority. After treatment the cortisol levels normalized. We did the clomid challenge test and got a great response. He is now doing clomid and having incredible gains in the gym little moody but not that horrible. He is 6 weeks in and is making personal records in the gym better then he ever has. If he holds then we accomplished everything we set out to do by having the thyroid and adrenals reset then finally the testosterone. If this is accomplished we completely reset the entire HPTA which is a huge feat in this complex of a case. He just had spectracell redone and also having ONE test done from genova to recheck his nutrient balance from fats, and minerals, vitamins to polish it off.

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