Hi

[The450Man]

Im a youngin. 20 year old male trying to find some “releif” from my anxiety, fatigue and mild depression. I got sick an tired of being shoved on med after med after med (ssri’s, anti-psycotics, mood stabilizers and benzos). Only thing that truly worked was the klonopin but i developed a tolerance and dependence to it. After a long dreaded withdrawl i thought to myself, there has to be something else going wrong here.

I finally started to research and research…. another thing to feed my ocd i had as a kid haha. I find it so fascinating and it has revealed a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel. Granted i havnt found my root issues yet but i feel as if im on the right path. Its taking me forever…. family members that think its just in my head and need to brush it off…. docs who look at me for a few minutes and toss me on a concoction of meds……limited insurance so im limited to local docs and im probally going to get cut off blood test wise… lack of funds (im unemployed and praying that my parents will support me until i can get back on my feet).

I was going to penn state for Electrical Mechanical Engineering. I loved it but the stress was too great. Loads of homework, needed to work/beg for money to supply food and gas there. It got so bad i was litterally falling asleep in class….. id even take several naps a day in between class’s in my truck.

I was pretty serious into bodybuilding. Im a smaller dude and only weighed in at 150lbs but boy did those 150lbs make me look big…… I stopped lifting in october due to being shot in the eye with a paintball gun and was blind for a while. I had an eye hyphema (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyphema) and had to stay in bedrest for a month. That really screwed me up and i stopped exercising… Not that the rest wasnt good, i think i was overtrained.. I went into a deep hole, nearly ate once a day. There were even spells i diddnt eat for 3-4 days because i suffer from severe overactive gag reflex. It feels as if something is always stuck in my throat especially after i eat.. Long story short i dropped down to 118lbs. Ive started to eat better and im back up to 130. Still very light but i do have a very small frame so i dont look anorexic. My grandparents think i have an eating disorder. I know for a fact thats not what it is. I enjoy food, like to eat and even sometimes find myself binge eating when im not stressed. Ive talked to many people and no one can relate to my gagging feeling. Ive been told its stress/anxiety. It has only gotten worse over the past two years. (started a few months before my high school graduation which i didn’t attend).

But yea i think im going in the right direction. Im doing this mostly by myself and with the aid of certain people i have spoken to in other forums. Their advice is greatly appreciated and two them are on this board. THANKS! you know who you are!

But i think ive went on long enough with my poorly formated introduction lol so im gona end it here.

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